welcome 09 - honest hypocrisy

No idea what I am going to write as I sit here at my keyboard. Just have this feeling that I should blog, so blogging I am. Life for me is going great... I feel great, I have someone wonderful in my life, I am healthy (well as far as I know)
I like where I am. I am slightly afraid however.
Afraid that moving forward will unbalance what I've got going. For example, (not complaining, just stating) I have been a little slack in regards to my spiritual practices. Not that it isn't in my mind, and its not like times gone by when I just could not be bothered or have got depressed and or sidetracked. Its just that life is going well, I am enjoying it. And enjoying it has left me juggling time. Do not want to give the impression I am run off my feet. By no means is that the case. I keep saying time, but in all honesty its motivation not time that is the thing. Well ... more so.
I do know that just because things change, and regardless of if I move forward or not, things will change. (It is what things do) Nothing is to say that change is always bad. The only things change is always, is change. It is different to what was.
Never have dealt extremely well with change. I'm a better the devil you know type of person. Meaning if things are not great, I can cope with that, if I know (can get my head around) what is going on.  With that said I am sure that there have been times in my past when I have pulled away from things that may have been good for me, just because it evolved changing.
I did not try to change, to get where I am ... not dramatically. I have been working on improving myself, coping better with the world that surrounds me. Just little things to keep me functioning. The changes that happened over the last 12 months or so caught me by surprise. I like the improved me... not running and hiding from it.

And i just realized there is a bit of hypocrisy in my above words.
Disliking change, but liking the improved me. (which came about through change) I know... I know... yes I have stated I dislike hypocrisy, but I can not escape it here. It is what it is.. From my mind, through the keyboard, to cyberspace, on to your screen.
Not a well written piece, not a overly interesting one either, but I can say truthfully that it is honest.

I think the reason that I was able to get to where I am now is because I did not realize I was changing until I had changed. That prevented me from hiding from myself, hiding from the change.

An extra note: I know that millions and millions of people are doing that.. yet most of those people are really stressed. I chose not to be stressed... were I can... I am trying...